My Father's Burdens
I woke up this morning at around 4am with a strong feeling to spend some time praying in the Spirit. Here are my thoughts, which are poor substitute for the emotional experience I had as I considered my relationship with the creator of everything, who has said I can call Him my Father:
We are such little things, such frail things in a world filled with terror and violence. We spend our lives surviving a world that seems so random: Joy, love and life, with sadness, hate and anger all bundled together.
Billions of us each with our thoughts and concerns, our prayers, our tender cares.. our evil motives and the self-justification we weave across it all so we can feel a little better than the next person, so we can judge their efforts and feel better about our own.
.. And my Father has to carry the weight of it all.
Every thought, every laugh, every lie, every violent act and every betrayal of a friend. Every cold blooded murder. The secret little thing that nobody knows about, in the dark when nobody watches.
.. My Father has to see it, to hear it, to observe it all with a great and tender heart that hopes, that loves, that cares, that weeps. That knows He must judge it one day, for justice to be done.
He knows what that really means, for He is a mighty King with kingly duties. The Everlasting One who must carry out justice on one hand, yet offers mercy with the other. He knew what it meant to give humanity free will, and obviously considered it worth the price.
I cannot imagine what it would be like, every moment to know of every evil in the world, to feel every bit suffering, every bit of pain that freedom of choice He gave us creates. I try to imagine what that would feel like for even one second, to carry it all.
The only perspective I have is the pain in my chest from saddest things I have ever experienced.. and I imagine that my heart would stop beating from grief if I could experience just one moment of what my Father carries every day.
My dad is so strong..
And yet He has time to listen to me, I am astounded and confused.
He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.
— Isaiah
When I consider His care for the small things that I worry about in my day, that He answers me when I call out to Him because I am His child and He is my Father. When I consider that He thinks of me when the whole world is upside down and in crisis and plans for my needs in a thousand little ways every day, I can only cry:
“Oh blessed day that I was born again into the family of the King, adopted as one of His own children!”
It hurts my heart to think that He who was so kind to me, to call me His own must bear such grief every day. And so I call to Him and I say:
“Papa, I love you,
My heart aches for what it must be like to have all the world to carry. The fears, the anger that gets directed at you every day, so many voices calling out to you in a million ways.
And yet when I call out there you are, and when I turn around and see your hand in every detail and every provision, knowing ahead of time what I need and even sometimes what I desire.. I see you showing me in a million ways how much you care for me as your son.
I wish I could take just one little thing of all that away from your burden.. I want to help you because you are my father and although I am little and you are great, perhaps I can spare you one small burden, can I carry a twig for you Papa? Can I pick you a flower to make you smile? One little bright and happy thing that you can think on..
Oh..
Oh! Ohhh.. thank you, I see.
I can carry this one little thing for you Papa, one thing that will brighten your day, one little thing that will make tomorrow easier.. I can carry my cross.
I can take on your holiness and your righteousness and I can walk around in my Father’s clothes. I can feed the poor, and speak life to the broken and the weary. I can give of the abundant things you have given me so that others can know you too. I can turn from destructive habits and adopt your Ways, that your Son came to show us many years ago.
And in so doing, I will be making tomorrow a little brighter for you, a little thing that will gladden your heart, to make you smile. I will try to do those things because I love you Papa, and you love me.”
— Yeshua (Jesus the Christ)
Ps: I wrote this early in the morning in my notebook, and then I got up for work where we communicate via chat during these lockdowns and we have a little secret channel for followers of Jesus there. JC shared this video that she has been making, and the painting and the singing just so put me in mind of the very thing that I had spent the morning praying over that I had to share it here.
(Thanks JC for letting me share your beautiful song)